Pick a Winner, Buddy

Before you read this, make sure you're not eating or drinking anything. And if you are easily made to gag or throw up, don't read this. Seriously.

I'm driving home from work and a greasy, nasty-ass-hasn't-shampooed-his-hair-in-weeks guy in the big-ass un-mufflered truck behind me turns and follows me for about 2 miles, picking a winner the whole.entire.way.

Not just a little recreational digging, mind you, but seriously - jamming each finger - on both hands - methodically into his nose, and with metronomic timing. I was so grossed out that I wanted to throw up. It happened so fast - and I will not write it, but yes, he DID do that thing that we hoped and wished that he hadn't.

I switched lanes, he switched lanes. I couldn't get away from him. HOW MUCH CAN THERE BE???? How vile! Were you raised by wolves???

A truly dirty, greasy and disgusting specimen of humanity.

Shouldn't we be able to soap his windows or deflate his tires for that? Not to mention hose him down in Handi-Wipes?

Scream with me, won't you???